He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
