And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize