Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My first STD was from a foam party
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
