I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There's even glitter on my cock...
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