small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
