Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
