the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she smelled like a LAN party
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
