two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
