i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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