My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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