By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
