onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
