When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
