My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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