Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
