Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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