How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
