no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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