No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
