I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
