Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
