Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
