Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
are you so shy because you have an std?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
