We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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