Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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