Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
