I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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