i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize