You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize