I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
