Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
