He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
