Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
