quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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