And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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