he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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