You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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