told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize