Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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