imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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