you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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