if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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