You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
