Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
