If i come over, it means nothing
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize