Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
