wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize