She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
