Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
