I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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