Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
