So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
