It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
