Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize