do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i now understand why vodka
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
