this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
