Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
