if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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