I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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