I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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