I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think i have two assholes
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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