I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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