trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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